Wednesday, January 6, 2010

If Only...

Oh, sorry to bother you Mr. Obama, Sir...

Excuse me Mr. Obama, I mean President Obama, Sir. Um . . . I know you're busy, and important and stuff. I mean, running the country is very important and -- ah -- I hate to bother you, Sir. I will only take a minute. Ok, Sir?

See, I have these missing pieces that are holding me up, and I was wondering, Sir, if you could take time out of your busy schedule and help me out. You know, no big deal, just some loose ends and things.

Hey, you have a nice place here! The wife sees houses like this on TV all the time and says, boy, she wishes she had digs like this, you know? Is that painting real? Really? Wow!

I saw something like that in a museum once.

Oh, sorry Sir. I didn't mean to get off the track.

So if you could just help me out a minute and give me some details, I will get right out of your way. I want to close this case and maybe take the wife to Coney Island or something. Ever been to Coney Island Sir? No? I didn't think so...

Well, listen, anyway, I can't seem to get some information I need to wrap this up. These things seem to either be "Not released" or "Not available." I'm sure it's just an oversight or glitch or something, so if you could you tell me where these things are I have them written down here somewhere -- oh wait. I'll just read it to you.

Could you please help me find these things, Sir?

1. Occidental College records -- Not released

2. Columbia College records -- Not released

3. Columbia Thesis paper -- "Not available"

4. Harvard College records -- Not released

5. Selective Service Registration -- Not released

6. Medical records -- Not released

7. Illinois State Senate schedule -- Not available

8. Your Illinois State Senate records -- Not available

9. Law practice client list -- Not released

10. Certified Copy of original Birth certificate -- Not released

11. Embossed, signed paper Certification of Live Birth -- Not released

12. Record of your baptism -- Not available

13. Why your wife, Michelle, can no longer practice law as an attorney? (Insurance Fraud?)

14. Why your wife has 22 assistants, when other First Ladies had one?

15. Why were you getting "foreign student aid" as a college student?

16. Which countrie's "Passport" did you have when you visited Pakistan in 1981?

Oh and one more thing Mr. President, I can't seem to find any articles you published as editor of the Harvard Law Review, or as a Professor at the University of Chicago. Can you explain that to me, Sir?

Oh, but hey -- listen! I know you're busy! If this is too much for you right now -- I mean -- tell you what. I'll come back tomorrow. Give you some time to get these things together, you know? I mean, I know you're busy. I'll just let myself out. I'll be back tomorrow... And the day after...

What's that Mr. President? Who wants to know these things?

We the People of the United States of America ! You know, the ones who vote.


  1. Great Post!! Obama is the least transparent President ever! I have never seen another President that was so secretive about his past like Obama is today. He has a hidden past that needs to be unlocked. Does he have anything to hide? It certainly seems so with him hiding information that other Presidents have released to the public.

  2. Wow, I knew about the birth certificate scandal, but I was unaware of the enormity of fuzzy information surrounding our so-called president. So what he's saying is that one can be anything they want in this country and then just say that their credentials are "unavailable." How convenient for him. It seems rather fishy that information that should be readily available, or was probably once available, like Senate records and such, has somehow not been "released." Great post! Thanks!

  3. We only just now learned that FDR died from a brain tumor, which he had for a few years, not the sudden brain aneurism that was reported. It is said he was very incapacitated during the Yalta Conference, and that Stalin took advantage of his diminished capacity, the result being the decision of how Europe was to be divvied up.

    I wonder what damge will be done, which we will only find out about later, after Obama leaves office. If he truly was not legally the President, what will that mean to any laws, orders, etc. he enacted?

  4. Who vetted Obama? At least the democractic party should have had to do that before having him as their canadate for President. Do they just take the guy's word for it if his politics lean their way? I have to prove my grades in college and my certifications to hold the job I have. What makes him an exception to the laws of this country?

  5. They wanted the first black President. It seems the only qualification was that he was a Democrat and that he could read a telepromter.



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