Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Problem Solved

My spies in Washington have come through. I now know, with certainty, why the Obama administration is doing so poorly trying to fix our economy. It’s a pretty shocking thing to find out, but facts are facts and it’s time to expose the truth. Obama, and his top advisors, obviously failed high school math. Yep, it’s true. That’s the reason they have no concept of anything fiscal. They have no understanding of math. My spies and I have had serious doubts now for months, but our suspicions were finally realized this weekend when Obama and a number of his top advisors were quoted giving figures to questions asked about how many jobs were saved by the trillion-dollar stimulus bill in the past year.

On one occasion recently, Obama said almost 2 million jobs were saved. Of course, he, and the rest of his mathematically challenged group included the term, “saved or created,” when referring to the number. (How do you calculate saved jobs anyway? Must be new math. As a point of reference, in all of American history the metric has NEVER been what a President has "saved or created” when computing job numbers. The concrete, easier-to-determine number of how many jobs were lost and how many were gained has always been the gold standard. There has never before been a "saved" category, EVER, until the Obama administration came up with the concept.)

Robert Gibbs, Obama’s Press Secretary, was quoted as saying on Fox News Sunday, that the stimulus bill saved 1.5 million jobs, not quite agreeing with his boss.

However, Valerie Jarrett, another top Obama advisor was quoted as saying on another Sunday news show this weekend that the stimulus package saved “thousands and thousands” of jobs. Wow, thousands as opposed to millions. She may be the most math challenged of the bunch.

David Axelrod, Obama’s senior advisor, was also on the Sunday news show circuit and was quoted as saying that he was sure the stimulus package had saved 2 million jobs. David was quite certain about this.

It is patently obvious that the problem is a basic lack of fundamental math skills, as was previously thought, and now with these latest revelations from Obama and his numerically challenged crew, we have finally been able to pin down the problem.

It should now be an easy task to single out all those in Obama’s administration who are causing all the confusion, by giving everyone concerned a basic math skills test. The way we can assess whether they pass would be to include the recent numbers that show over the last year we have lost more than three million jobs in this country, so the number of saved jobs would be, of course, minus three million. If they fail to come up with that answer, FIRE THEM.


  1. "Failed high school Math", you've got that entirely wrong from your source---they never took high school math. Without a hand held calculator and a teleprompter these fools are lost.

  2. Love this! You're so right on. If only their lack of math skills was our only problem. . .



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